Letting Go of the Handle: Redefining Leadership Through Shared Load

In a quiet park in Oklahoma, there’s a bronze sculpture that tells a quiet, powerful story. A child dangles joyfully from the handle of an old water pump—legs looped over the spout, arms extended with carefree delight. Below, a weathered bucket waits to be filled. It’s a simple, nostalgic scene. And yet, it holds a profound message for modern leadership.

I see it every day in my work with executives, business owners, and seasoned leaders—individuals clinging tightly to their own metaphorical pump handles. They are devoted, determined, and often depleted. There's an underlying belief that if they loosen their grip, everything they’ve worked so hard to hold together will come undone.

They carry the weight of leadership alone. Not because they want to—but because they believe they must.

Many fear that delegating will lead to disappointment. That asking for help will be seen as weakness. That sharing responsibility might create more problems than it solves. Or perhaps, even deeper down, they fear their own value will diminish if they're not the one holding it all together.

But here’s the truth: that story? It’s just that—a story. One shaped by past experiences, unspoken expectations, and the deeply ingrained belief that “it’s all on me.”

What if that belief isn’t the whole truth?

What if your team is simply waiting for the opportunity to step in—not out of duty, but out of purpose?

When leaders begin to let go—when they loosen their grip and invite others to participate—something remarkable happens. Teams shift. Energy shifts. Ownership expands.

I’ve seen team members light up when asked to co-create solutions or take on more responsibility. What one leader assumed was a burden often becomes a welcomed challenge—one that re-engages their people and activates a deeper sense of belonging.

Letting go doesn’t mean letting down. It means creating room for others to rise.

And this shift starts with curiosity.

Curiosity allows us to challenge old assumptions:

• Is my interpretation of this situation accurate?

• What stories am I telling myself that might not be true?

• What might others want, need, or be capable of that I haven’t considered?

  
  

Curiosity also invites brave conversations—the kind that might sting but ultimately set us free. Because the hard truth is, sometimes what we see as strength is experienced by others as control. Sometimes our silence is interpreted as mistrust. And sometimes our desire to protect is felt as exclusion.

The paradox of leadership is this: by doing everything ourselves, we may unintentionally send the message that our team is not enough.

So what does it look like to lead differently? To lead with trust, not just tenacity?

The sculpture offers a gentle reminder: strength doesn’t always come from gripping harder. Sometimes, it comes from releasing—intentionally, courageously, and collaboratively.

When we let go of the handle—not in recklessness, but in trust—we invite others to carry the mission with us. And in doing so, the bucket might just fill faster… and fuller.